Help Through Heartache

First, let me say that there are so many other women out there who have suffered or are suffering so much more than I. I know that each person deals with grief in different ways. I am only writing to tell you what helped me personally in the death of our stillborn son Sam.

As I think about the events leading up to Sam's death, I can clearly see God's providence and protection in our lives. God does everything for a purpose.

When I sat on the hospital bed and watched the monitor go still, I can remember thinking "I can't believe this is happening!" and "Why would the Lord take him?" And then the flood gates opened, along with that three letter word, "Why".

Yes, I asked why--not accusing, not bitterly--I wanted to know if I had done something wrong. There was no explanation for what had happened, nothing. I began replaying what we could've done and should've done over and over in my mind. I had a hard time accepting it; a hard time with "Why" this happened. Through the next couple of weeks and after a lot of open communication with my husband, the Lord sweetly and slowly began to show me some things that I needed to see.

1. When we give something or someone to the Lord, it is His and He may decide to take it at any time. Job 12:9, 10.

2. God loves me, I am in His will and He knows what is best. Rom. 8:28

3. Because I am His child, I have a heavenly promise. I will see Sam again.

4. So many other women have gone through this same heartache and I can be a help to someone someday.

5. I need to keep my mind on Him and let His word guide my thoughts and my attitudes instead of letting them go down the road of bitterness and confusion. Prov. 4:23

I believe that if you are a Christian, you will go through some kind of heartache sometime in your life. We need to get beyond ourselves and realize that God allows these painful times to mold us into the person that He wants us to be--a person that He can use.

We will never entirely heal; because if we did, we would forget the work that God has done in us.

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