The ups and downs of motherhood

Ok so....I'm not a writer but I do have some thoughts on my heart that I would like to attempt to share with you without it sounding like a jumbled mess. We as young mothers definitely face struggles. If you don't, I'd like to talk to you sometime! Struggles will come, and struggles will go, especially as your children go through different phases in life, but rest assured...you can make it through those struggles and still produce good kids while also not losing your mind! I'll attempt to share my experiences as a mom of five kids and give you the good, the bad, and yes, even the ugly. Because let's face it, all three are a part of life.

First, I'd like to say that I'm not a perfect mother. I'm not a perfect wife, nor am I a perfect pastor's wife *gasp*! But there are many lessons I've learned while attempting to raise my children that I believe can be a help to the young moms who will read this. When my husband and I first started having kids, one of the MAIN things we did was to seek COUNSEL from those who had "gone before" us. Those who had already experienced the ups and downs of motherhood, or life in general and lived to tell about it:) Those who had great kids who were living for the Lord and being full time Christians. It amazes me how many Christian parents today are too prideful to go and ask for help or direction while raising their kids, when, obviously they need to. Friend, there is nothing weak about having to ask for help or advice in child training! Ask away! That is what has helped me tremendously when I've faced situations with my kids that I had no clue how to handle. I believe this is step one in the journey of motherhood. If there's a problem, admit it. Don't be too prideful to go to someone godly and ask for help. Don't pretend to have it all together when, in reality you're falling apart.

Someone recently told me, you need to take care of yourself first, otherwise, you won't be fit to take care of your family that God has given you. There is a lot of truth to that, which brings me to my second point....TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND DON'T FEEL GUILTY FOR DOING IT! I used to feel so guilty for wanting "me" time. When my husband would get home for the day and it was obvious I was about ready to slit my wrists from the bad day I had (not for real, don't sign me up for counseling), I used to get this awful feeling of guilt for telling him I needed to leave the house for awhile. But, I came to the realization pretty quickly that, if I didn't go, if I didn't have an outlet, it was very dangerous for my family. Mom, sometimes you just need to get away even if it's just for a car ride. You're not a bad person for feeling like this, you're not abandoning your kids, you're actually helping them in the long run!

A third issue I think young moms face is that of comparison. Oh boy this was a big one for me. I'm all about being real, so please excuse me:) Many of us homeschool, or have had home schooled, or will in the near future. Well...if you need advice about this, please don't ask me because I'm a terrible example of a great home school mom and might be a little *too honest about my feelings towards it...ahem....If you're anything like me though, and find yourself comparing your life and your kids to other home school moms who seem to have it all together, clean their house every day, do 55 loads of laundry while teaching the wonders of science and math, plus have supper on the table at just the right time every night while the kids are diligently doing their homework with a smile on their faces..then STOP NOW and don't compare yourself to others ever again! That was a really long sentence and probably why I stink at English. Comparing ourselves to other moms is way too much stress. Mary Poppins down the road or in your church may appear to have it all together but you're not her. You're YOU. Maybe your house is trashed and the laundry is piled everywhere...so what? That is life. That is real. I've come to learn that having children who love me and see a mom who is real is more important than being Mary Poppins. Due to health issues, I currently only home school my oldest child now because a wonderful family in town offered to do it for me, along with her own children at their church. But I HAVE BEEN and believe me, it wasn't easy. Home schooling is a full time job and you wear many hats which can be very overwhelming. But if you can learn to stop comparing yourself or your kids to others, a load will be lifted for sure! Satan wants to destroy us, moms. I'm sure you know that. He wants to discourage us on a daily basis, and boy has he succeeded in doing so in my life as a mom many times. Don't let him devour you. When you feel that discouragement, take it to the Lord, don't bottle it up. It affects your children. We as women are emotional creatures. My, oh my am I emotional! When that discouragement comes my way, I need to work very hard at not allowing it to swallow me up. Keep the lines of communication with your husband open. Be real. I know I've said that a lot, but its so important, especially if you are in the ministry, like many of us moms are. You know that you're always being watched, being "graded" if I can use that term. Sometimes we feel like we need to put on a show 24/7 and act like we're perfect and that our kids are too, even when we really feel discouraged and down. I like moms who are real. Moms you can go to and talk to and they're just plain and simple and real. No show, nothing fake about them. I want to be that kind of mom. Do we struggle? Yes. Do we sometimes want to throw in the towel? Yes. Do we wish we could lock ourselves in our bedrooms some days with no one screaming for our attention? Yes and yes! That's ok, mom. It really is. Don't let Satan get the upper hand with discouragement. I sure don't claim to know everything. I haven't arrived in this thing called motherhood. I've had a lot of failures and will continue to have them. But that's when I talk to the Lord throughout the day, sometimes crying because I feel so lost and overwhelmed with motherhood. But He always helps. Always guides. Do I always wake up in the morning with a song and dive into my devotions before the kids are up? Um..no. I think sometimes we as moms also put pressure on ourselves thinking everything has to be done first thing in the morning or we're a failure already. Well, I may be wrong, but I've never been a morning person at all. In fact, I love the T-shirt I found on Pinterest that says, "A fun thing to do in the morning is not talk to me." Yep. I make time for my devotions and it's usually at night when the house is quiet and I can finally focus. How you do it is your business, but do make time for Him. I believe I've rambled on enough but I do hope I've been a help to someone who reads this. Life can be hard and demanding with chidren but being a mom is one of the most rewarding things ever. Hang in there moms, and don't forget to do something for yourself today!